Convictions and what they say about me...

In his book, Faith and Doubt, pastor and author John Ortberg shares a picture of Michael Novak's delineation of the three types of convictions we all have regarding what we believe.

He begins with a discussion of our public convictions.  These are "the things that we want others to think we believe, even though we really may not believe them" (42).  Here he highlights the fact that "sometimes being a part of a community of faith increases the temptation to pretend to believe what we really don't" (43).

Next he talks about private convictions.  These are the things that "I sincerely think I believe, but it turns out they may be fickle or illusory" (44).  "Private convictions seem to be real at the time, but when circumstances shift, they are revealed to be hollow" (44).  Interesting enough, Ortberg goes on to say that "sometimes private convictions may involve self-deception: we want to believe something or are committed to believing something even though at some level we know it is false (45).

Finally he comes to what he calls core convictions, and Ortberg says of them that they are "the ones that really matter...[they] are revealed by our daily actions, by what we actually do...[and] might be called the 'mental map'...[and] these mental maps [reveal] the way we think things really are and the way life really works" (46). 

While I understand the presence of the private and public convictions, these core convictions are the place where I am living these days -- discovering the non-negotiables in my journey and seeing how they actually lead to a heightened sense of spiritual awareness and "ministerial success", that is finding fruitfulness in what I do.  Ortberg declares of these core convictions that "they reveal [what] I really do believe by my actions" (48).

With that in mind, I have been seeking to evaluate and discover my own personal vision statement for the second half of my life journey.  For years I have lived with this statement as my guide: I exist to celebrate and communicate the truth as it is found in Jesus Christ, and to invite people of all ages into a vital and growing relationship with Him.  While that has been effective in guiding my personal and professional life for years, my journey in recent months has become less and less global and more and more focused. I find myself asking asking again and again -- what is my purpose?  Why am I here?  What does God want me to be and to do in this part of my journey?

Those questions have produced a deep-seated desire to re-define my vision for life and what exactly needs to be the focus of the second half of my journey.  This image is a picture of my core convictions (in Ortberg's terms) or God's Chazoan for my life (in Groeschel's terms).  Whatever, this is what I am and this what my heart says I am to be about:

I exist to be and help others become authentic disciples of Jesus Christ that together we might transform our community and help them to discover wholeness in Christ.

A few terms deserve definition:

• authentic disciples - those who truly reflect the heart of Luke 6:40 (the disciple, when fully taught, is like his teacher)
• transform - it is one thing to exist in a community.  It is entirely another to make a positive difference while living there, and that difference is the transformation I am speaking of
• community - not just the place where I live, but the places I might also influence through the living out of my life
• wholeness in Christ - my focus is not only on simple evangelism, but leading others to become, in like manner, authentic disciples of Jesus.  The concept of "wholeness in Christ" is best understood in terms William Greathouse shared in his book by this title.  There he defines "wholeness in Christ" as the heartfelt experience of heart cleansing and holy living, which ought to be the goal of any authentic disciple for that is the pattern Jesus sets before us.

So there it is -- the guiding statement of the second half of my journey.  Discovering the non-negotiables in my life flows from this.  There is of course my personal faith in Christ and its development.  There are the essential relationships that I share with Debbie and the kids.  There is that fulfilling of my call from God as a vocational minister.  But there is also that sense of leading, guiding, and directing others to Him, and realizing that my focus must not be hindered by all the other encroachments on my time and energies that detract from that purpose.  I must live to be and help others become authentic disciples that we might in turn transform our community by leading even more into that authentic discipleship to which we are committed.